I love Britney. Ok, I loved Britney. Through all the crap, the hair shaving, the mental breakdowns, K-Fed, I was there supporting. I kept saying she’ll pull through, I wanted her to make it. I bought the CD’s, even though they were nothing like the old stuff. When given the opportunity to see the “comeback” live and in person, well I jumped at the chance.
Before I get ahead of myself, let’s start at the beginning. I drove into Vancouver from good ol’Surrey and picked up Kristina from work along with her friend Shari. We went to another girls apartment and started with some pre-drinking and pizza. It was all in the name of Britney you see, we played her music and were all just generally really, really excited to see Mrs. Alexander-Federline-Spears in concert.
As we left we toasted Brit in the only way that seemed appropriate, with tequila shots done to the cries of “It’s Britney Bitch!” She would have wanted us to show up slightly tipsy. For those of you wondering, take a look at that picture, memorize that tequila bottle, and never, ever, ever, ever purchase that brand of tequila. We then took off into the cab and made our way to GM Place, where in the cab we still fought off the horrible after effects of the tequila and Shari was surprised by her own echo.
If anything, the people watching at GM Place was worth the whole price of admission (and thank god for that) because words cannot explain our horrified looks as we saw the majority of the girls at the stadium. First, very few girls were wearing jackets, in April, in Vancouver. It was about 7 degrees outside. Then, few of them remembered to wear pants under their shirts. This phenomenon has been developing over the past few years here, ever since the backlash against short shirts has taken over and longer shirts that cover your muffin tops and butt cracks became popular. They’re cute with tights, leggings or jeans, but girls seem to forget that step. Because about 90% of the girls there forgot their pants and there was about a million times I was worried I would have to witness whether or not they had the intelligence to wear underwear. Apparently Kristina and I were odd for wearing tights, because two girls pointed at us and said “Oh look, tights” and gave a laugh. Yes, common decency is laughable these days.
I wont even get into the bleached hair that literally cried for deep conditioning treatments and the lack of ability for anyone to walk in their heels.
Once inside we purchased overpriced alcohol and settled in just in time for the Pussycat Dolls to open the show with “Don’t Cha.” Admittedly, I was a secret fan of PCD, the inner-feminist in me wanted me to not enjoy their catchy beats and to be appalled by their horrible clothes. But I got to say, these girls have the talent. The dancing was enjoyable, Nicole sang live and did very well even though she was shaking her thing the whole time and surprisingly the other 4 were given a few chances to sing and address the crowd. The performance turned me into a straight out fan, I mean I still don’t find myself a fan of the clothes, but I get it and I rather enjoyed them. If given the chance to see them, even in a full on concert and not the short 45 minute set they were given, I would go see them.
Intermission led to more beverage purchases and people watching, I think on stage they had circus performers, but we enjoyed the halls of GM rather than watched the stage.
The show opened with Perez Hilton spewing some crap, I’m not too sure what he was saying or doing, something about her being the princess of pop I guess. Britney came out and lip-synched her way through the songs. I’m not complaining about the lip-synching. No one goes to Britney and expects live singing, so I don’t fault that. But because they lacked live camera on the big screens it was hard to even say if she was pretending. During the first three songs she did seem slightly enthusiastic, it did become apparent that she wouldn’t be dancing as she used to and was actually being wheeled around on stage by means of cages and fancy blocks. After three songs came the first dance break, her dancers danced around on stage with numjuks to some remixed version of Gimme More. After their dance the stage went dark and all hell broke lose.
They say it was because of the smoke in the air and they would not go on again until the smoke cleared. They did not clarify if it was cigarette, pot or from the stage show. The opening did have smoke fill the stage and in all honestly I didn’t see very much smoke, if any, in the air. I’ve been to concerts in GM before, rock and rap and I’ve seen what people can do with marijuana. This was nothing, it was as if we were at a hockey, the air was clear. Later on she issued a statement claiming that the people above the stage couldn’t work because of the lack of ventilation. Nevertheless, after about half an hour of the audience chanting “Britney, Britney, Britney” and “Bulls**t, Bulls**t, Bulls**t” and finally “Go Canucks go” she came back.
She came back and it was even more lackluster than before. And I think the audience just wasn’t as into it either, I know I certainly wasn’t. She could barely be bothered to put in an effort. Most of the time the only way I could tell it was her on stage was because I could see her broke ass blond weave, and that’s sad, that they had to make sure no other blonds were on the stage so we could figure out which person Britney was. Apparently, according to some reviews, she left about 90seconds before her only ballad was over, in which she spent the whole time floating above the stage in this giant umbrella and lip-synching. She couldn’t even sit and sing a ballad. I couldn’t even tell she left before the song was over.
Everything was just so half-hearted. She was moving through the motions, but you could tell she just didn’t want to do it. She only spoke to the crowd four times, once was at the end to tell us to “drive safe, don’t smoke weed, and rock out with your cock out.” It was so pathetic, rock out with your cock out? How trashy has she become. It’s obvious she’s relishing the attention gossip blogs are paying to whatever stupid things she says to the audience during the few times they turn on her mike.
My favorite part though, blatant commercial shilling. Midway through the show, during a costume change, and after the encore, they flashed Virgin Mobile on the screen. For those wondering, yes I’ve gone out and bought my Virgin Mobile phone.
Overall I think one of the problems was the Pussycat Dolls. Britney shouldn’t have a band that can sing live and dance as an opening act, it only disappoints us when she doesn’t even try to sing even the ballads and her dancing was not even comparable to PCD. I honestly thought Brit should have opened for PCD, it would have been a much better concert.
Another problem was that the video screens at one point showed us clips from her old videos. Toxic, Stronger, Oops, Baby One More Time… we were forced to watch these videos of when she was so awesome and actually brought it. She didn’t even play a lot of her hits, instead they focused on the last two albums. The “Oops…” album was completely ignored, even Gimme More was just played during costume change and we were not given the full “It’s Britney Bitch” treatment. It was so sad to see where she was and where she is now, they showed us all this before the encore when she barely stumbled through Womanizer, it made you leave so much more sad about the state of her career and where her life has gone.
As a fan, it just left me pissed off, these are the people spending hundreds of dollars on her concerts. We bought her CD’s and supported her and cheered her comeback, and this is how we get treated. The break from the “smoke” aside, the concert would have been a let-down without it. She just had no heart or drive to dance or even lip-synch properly.