Bang bang you’re dead

I remember the first time it happened. I was in a park with a friend, we were “camping” (and by that I mean staying in the middle of no where in a cabin with no running water or electricity). There was nothing unusual about the day, it was overcast but not raining, chilly but not cold. It must have been the beginning of summer or the end, I can’t remember but I do know it was perfect sweatshirt weather. My friend wasn’t with me in the cabin when the shooter opened fire with some kind of automatic weapon being fired towards my cabin and bullets coming through the walls. I was hit within seconds, bullets were fired into every part of my body. I was dead within seconds.

Thankfully I woke up. I awoke with a jump, panicked and breathing heavily. I remember my back was slightly sweaty, I had to check to make sure that it was sweat and not blood. It was just a dream, I repeated to myself over and over before trying to fall back asleep. I eventually did, but the nightmare haunted me for days. What did it mean? Why was I shot and how did I die? I always believed you couldn’t die in dreams, something about how if you die in your dream you’re dead in real life. Obviously this wasn’t true.

Eventually I forgot the dream. Then it happened again. And again. And again. And so on and so forth. They’ve been going on for about 6 years now, not frequently, but every couple of months I’ll be sleeping and suddenly I’m shot in my dreams.

In the beginning I’d be scared, to the point where I’d worry that these dreams were glimpse into the future, but they were so ridiculous I realized that they’re not my mind predicting my death. I did develop a big fear of guns, but honestly it’s not as if it’s something that I have to deal with in my everyday life. I may have also once said “I feel like I know what it’s like to be shot,” because I do. These dreams are so realistic, as I said before I do have to make sure that I’m not bleeding or shot when I wake up. I’m thankful these dreams do not feature me in places I recognize because that would make it real, that would make me feel like I might actually be shot in real life.

Lately though, my dreams have changed. In the past I would die every time, but now I get shot and live, which is odd because I’m also being shot with a gun to my head in the past couple of dreams, and television and movies has taught me that this is a sure-fire way to have my brain-matter splattered all over the place.

Other facts about my dreams:

  • I’m aware that it’s a dream. In one dream I begged my assailants (who were going to kill me for witnessing a robbery/murder) to kill me by any other means by gunfire because “waking Jen” couldn’t handle being shot anymore.
  • I never know the killer, except once when it was my brother. That dream was the scariest and shook me up the most.
  • In the dreams where I’m not dying I know I should be dead. In my most recent dream I was shot and I decided to lie down and wait for death, since it seemed most logical.
  • I don’t know much about guns, but the earlier dreams involved automatic weapons, lately it’s been handguns.

Now that I’ve shared this, I ask you my dear readers…. what does all this mean? My mom once asked a psychic who said it was because I was shot in a past life.  Dream dictionaries tell me being shot means:

To dream that you are shot, represents a form of self-punishment that you may be unconsciously imposing on yourself. You may have done something that you are ashamed of or are not proud of. If you are shot and come back as a different person, then it indicates that  you need to start fresh. You want to wipe the past away and literally become a new person.
To dream that someone is shooting you with a gun, suggests that you are experiencing some confrontation in your waking life. You may be feeling victimized in some situation.

Dreaming of dying means:

To dream of your own death, indicates a transitional phase in your life. You are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Alternatively, you are trying desperately to escape the demands of your daily life. (Source)

I don’t believe this, I probably could if it was a one-off dream but to think that I’m constantly feeling these things doesn’t seem right. I also don’t feel that this is how I consciously feel, and I believe that our subconscious is trying to tell us things through our dreams. Any ideas readers? What do you think it could all mean?


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