I’m an adult

Today I was talking to a friend about how I recently finished my probation period at work and now have extended medical.

Like most people, I’ve taken the opportunity to take advantage of everything I can, including some things that I may have neglected during my unemployed (read: broke) period. Namely dental and eye care.

Here’s how I explained how I booked these doctor’s appointments to a friend:

“I made my optometrist appointment for a week and a half from now. I’ll wear my glasses every day until then so any gross stuff lingering on my eyes from my contacts will be gone by then. My dentist appointment is a month away, this way I can start flossing from now until then and fool them into thinking I’m a super-vigilant flosser.”

Please do not question this logic. It makes perfect sense in my brain. And I have proof from my last visit with the dentist that this works.

As for the idea that maybe I should just keep flossing after the visit, past experience tells me that this is not likely to happen.

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Ma Ma Sa, Ma Ma Coo Sa

I, like most every normal human being, love singing along to music.

I also get a lot of lyrics wrong.

For years I’d sing sing lyrics wrong only to Google them and find out what they really are.

The other day I was singing along to Wanna Be Starting Something by Michael Jackson and it got to a part in the song where for the longest time I had been singing the lyrics as I thought “You’re a vegetable, you’re a vegetable” and so on with lines ending in “vegetable.”

Given my previous history with mishearing lyrics, I knew I had to be wrong.

Imagine my surprise when I Googled and found out I WAS RIGHT.

MJ was singing about being vegetables.

That is perhaps the oddest thing about him.

Hallow-weenie

Happy Halloween!

This year I have a job in an office where they take Halloween seriously. Like costume contest in the office and a competition for best dressed company with the other companies in our little office utopia.

I knew I had to bring it, so I started scouring the internet for ideas for my costume in late-September and found a few I was interested in. Carmen Sandiego got thrown around (because I have a bright red jacket I wanted to wear) and just last weekend I saw how to make a Paperbag Princess costume (it was too late to change, but I wanted to put that here for next year).

I generally have two requirements for costumes:

1- Can I make it using supplies I already have? Or if I buy something, will I wear it again?
2- Is it awesome, thoughtful or different?

I think I’ve covered both with my costume… I’m writing this before I get dressed for the day, so I’ll probably add a picture of me in costume later… but see if you can guess what I’m going as

That’s right, The Hamburglar.

I got the striped dress on sale at The Gap and will definitely wear it again. The hat is Nine West and I got a great deal on it from Winners (and I hope to wear it again), I just added some dollar store yellow ribbon around it to match the Hamburglar.  Other accessories I picked up was the mask (Value Village $0.99), a cape (also from Value Village, although I found plastic ones at the dollar store that would work too), the red tie was from VV and I just glued print out of hamburgers on it and I picked up some cheap red gloves (2 pairs for $1 at the trusty dollar store).

I can’t take all the credit, I did get the inspiration online from What I Wore.

And just in case if anyone is unsure of what my costume is, I found a fake hamburger

Another dollar store find, in the dog chew toy section.

Yes, the meat part is made from cheetah material. I don’t know why, it was from the dollar store, you can’t expect realistic hamburgers from them.

What are you going as for Halloween this year?

It’s a girl

Today I was walking my dog. We recently bought her a new collar and leash, in the past it was blue because it matched her eyes and went with it.

The new collar and leash is pink. Too many people were confusing her with being a boy, so we decided to follow gender stereotypes and get pink accessories.

I also hoped that with pink accessories people would stop walking far away from us when they saw us coming, I guess I thought that they believed that she was a boy and therefore a mean German Shepherd. FYI: this could not be further from the truth, but I digress.

Today I was stopping into the local Safeway and was tying her up to the bike rack, as I’ve done many times before, and a man saw how well behaved she was and we had this conversation:

Him: “Look how good he is, he must be well trained”
Me: “Yes, she is. But she’s done this hundreds of times before”
Him: “What a good boy”

Dude. Do you not hear me say she? Do you not see the pink? She’s not supporting breast cancer awareness month (we don’t do that in these parts).

I pushed it out of my mind until a bit later on our walk and thought it was rather shortsighted of me to assume that my dog should automatically be thought of as a girl because she wears pink. Up until recently she was a girl who wore blue. And I’m not one to care about gender stereotyping, if you’re a boy who wants to wear pink or a dress or whatever then more power to you.

Was I worried the guy thought my dog was gay? Because if Hope was a boy and preferred the boys, then that’s ok with me. In fact, I don’t even know for certain that she’s not a lesbian either. I’ve seen her around other lady dogs.

And then I felt bad for the rest of the walk. Because I’d love my dog or child no matter how they identify with gender or if they were gay or straight. And then I got a little concerned about myself because I was putting way too much thought into the whole thing.

White Noise

I’ve never been able to fall asleep when it’s silent.

When I was younger I’d always listen to the radio as I fell asleep. In university I lived above a busy intersection in Vancouver and loved the noise of the people yelling on the street or the sound from the crosswalk beeping.

My favorite sound to fall asleep to is the rain. I guess being a Vancouverite I’m just used to it. Living in the suburbs now I don’t get much noise outside my windows (which I always leave open, even in the middle of winter, because I need the cold blowing in while I sleep under my comforter). A while back I was searching the free apps in the iTunes store and discovered a White Noise app by TM Soft. They have two versions, the lite (free) and full (I think $1.99 or $0.99) and I’ve become obsessed with listening to it as I fall asleep.

The best sounds are the rain sounds, but I like the beach noises too. Hate the rainforest ones, I don’t need weird animals calling at random intervals and waking me up.

Yesterday I discovered my favorite sound ever in the store… rain on a tent. Reminds me of camping as a kid, when my brother and I would sleep in the tent over May long weekend as it poured rain in the Okanagan and my parents slept in our Get-A-Way van. The sound of rain on tents or tarps is like heaven to me.

We’re beyond sexy kitten now…

I really don’t have a problem with chicks dressing as “sexy (insert random animal/profession/person here).” It’s a person’s prerogative, and if they can pull it off then good for them. I do prefer if the person dressing like sexy _____ is at least creative and funny with it. I’m kind of over the sexy kitten, mouse, bunny, fireman or cop.

But I tend to take exception with these costumes….

care of laughingsquid.com

I saw the sexy Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street last week and showed two co-workers… AS A JOKE… and they decided to buy them as a workplace Halloween costume. Yes, workplace (I’m told they’ll wear tights, tank tops and cardigans to make it workplace acceptable. I’m still skeptical).

They have other “sexy” Sesame Street characters like Big Bird too

I just cannot. Some things are sacred and should not be made “sexy” and anything to do with Sesame Street should be left alone.

I tend to have problems with religious costumes made sexy. This Sexy Middle Eastern Arab Girl Burka Halloween Costume is sold out on the Sears (USA) website, along with many other online costume sites. SOLD OUT.

I’m a white girl from Canada who was raised as a Catholic and I find this incredibly offensive. I mean really people? What are you thinking buying this stuff?

What are you going as for Halloween? I’m excited for my costume, so far I’m only dressing up for work but I think my (office appropriate) costume is pretty cool. I’ll probably do a post about it in a few days.

October

I took this picture a few years back in Stanley Park. I can hear the leaves crunching under my feet

I love October. I love the change in the weather, the leaves as they change to brilliant colours and crunch under your feet. The air is crisper, the days are shorter and the weather is cooler. I love sweaters and boots, scarves and all the cooler weather accoutrements (side note: I spelled accoutrements right the first time I typed it, I am amazed).

I hate October for the pink. I hate that companies play on women’s emotions by slapping a pink ribbon on their products to sell more stuff all in the name of some promise to give a percentage of profits to Breast Cancer charity (to read more about why this is so aggravating, read this). I hate that everywhere I go or every time I catch a sporting event on TV I am assaulted by pink shit all in the name of supporting and raising money for breast cancer awareness.

It’s rare to see someone actually explain what breast cancer is and why it’s important to check yourself monthly. Companies would rather make money in the name of “raising money for charity” instead of educating people.

So in case you’re actually wondering how to check for breast cancer here is a helpful video, featuring half-naked, very good-looking men, to teach you how to check yourself (before you wreck yourself!). Because you’re not going to find instructions with the Pink KitchenAid Mixer you buy to “support” the cause.

It’s October and you’re going to be assaulted with pink everywhere. It’s honestly getting to the point where I’d rather not purchase anything from a company “supporting” the cause and wait for the barrage of mustache’s in “Movember.”

Regardless of what you choose to support, I prefer to support awareness for all cancers. I guess you could say I’m an equal opportunity cancer cure supporter. So what can you do? Educate yourself. Use the above video to check yourself for breast cancer. Watch this video to find out more about skin cancer and melanoma, because skin cancer is actually the deadliest cancer in Canada (as is colon cancer). Laugh at this video and then get an examination for testicular cancer. Schedule yourself for your yearly pap smear. Prevent cervical cancer by getting your HPV shot. Or make a donation to the Terry Fox Foundation, which has raised approximately $500 million for cancer research since it began (and if you’re so inclined, watch the ESPN 30 for 30 documentary Into The Wind, co-directed by Steve Nash, a phenomenal documentary about one of Canada’s greatest heroes).